Often we perceive things as real, when they are not. We take something, perhaps a comment or action someone made,that unsettled us, and we make up a story in our heads around this perception. Then we look for clues or affirmations to add to it, to confirm to ourselves that our ‘story’ is correct.
Whatever perspective we are viewing things from (happy or sad) it is guaranteed that we can start to find more and more things that build into the story we are creating in our minds. And since what we focus on expands, pretty soon we actually do create a reality based on what we perceived as having happened, because by reacting from what can often be a completely inaccurate perception in the first place, we put out the energy of that perception and attract it back to ourselves. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If you’re old enough you might remember the move ‘ Sliding Doors,’ which starred Gwyneth Paltrow, where we watch a parallel universe unfold based on a decision she makes to do with catching a train. Our thoughts are the same. If we don’t bring them into check quickly when we are feeling negative, examine what we are thinking and shift our perception from negative to positive, or at least neutral (observing but not reacting), then we can easily set off a sliding door reality.
To stop that happening we must observe every thought we have. When something unsettles us and we start to form a story around it, pause for a moment and consider, ‘Could I be wrong in that perception and in how I’m planning to react? Could he/she/they perhaps have meant something else? When my supervisor said, ‘We won’t need you to come in next week so take a few days off,’ could they actually have wanted me to have a rest because I’ve been working overtime, and it’s not that they’re trying to get rid of me?’
‘When my friend said she didn’t want to catch up for coffee because she had some stuff to do she’d forgotten about, maybe she really did have stuff to do and wasn’t actually trying to avoid seeing me.’
Are these all just stories I’m making up in my head that aren’t true? Am I creating a sliding door of thoughts that are careering off down the wrong train track?
If the answer is yes, change the thought/s. Get off the train and onto another one.
Pause. Breathe. Observe. Relax.